musicMagpie’s Surprisingly Easy Guide to Gaming Over The Summer
The summer is a tough time for many gamers. While we all love the sun and the heat, it makes it extremely difficult to pursue our favourite hobby. Even the most avid gamer couldn’t claim to enjoy sitting in a darkened room sweating to death just so they can play Watch Dogs.
Well, we’ve had enough. Why can’t we enjoy gaming and summer at the same time? So, we’ve taken a few of the most common problems faced by gamers over the summer months and come up with some surprisingly easy solutions. Although not all of them are that sensible…
Problem #1: The rubbish release schedule
Nothing good comes out over summer. It could be a parent/games company conspiracy to get kids outside, or it could just be that games companies presume that people will be outside enjoying the sun (obviously not based in Britain then), but the fact remains that the summer is a wasteland for good games.
Pictured: The summer release schedule | Image credit: Jez Arnold on Flickr
Buy some old games! Although no good new games are released, this is the time of year that the previous winter’s blockbusters get knocked down in price. Stock up on a couple of bargains and you’ll have more than enough to see you through the summer.
You could also venture onto the app store and buy a couple of games. Not only will you get to game, but you’ll get to sit outside while you do it – result!
Problem #2: The sun
You’ve made your excuses not to go out, you’ve fired up the Xbox and then…you can’t see a thing. The sun is the mortal enemy of the summer gamer, firing its glare on every angle of the screen and causing untold preventable deaths/goals. Curse you, sun!
Here it comes, ruining our day again | Image credit: Josep Rosell on Flickr
You could close the curtains, but that’s a bit depressing.
A better option is to buy a movable mount for your TV and switch to a mobile chair. With a bit of dynamic shifting during the day, you should be able to avoid the harsh glare of the sun!
Alternatively, you could install awnings over your windows. Bear in mind that this is expensive, labour-intensive and that your house will look like a butcher’s shop as a result.
Problem #3: Overenthusiastic friends
Give people a bit of sun and they go crazy. We’ve all got friends who want to be out every second of every day, having a beer at the pub, or playing an impromptu game of Frisbee, or looking at girls while they sunbathe (avoid that friend).
Don’t they understand we’ve got games to play?
If you don’t want to go outside, why not make your friends come inside? Gradually introduce them to a diet of Call of Duty, FIFA and Titanfall and they’ll soon be addicted. They might get ill as a result, but needs must, right?
Alternatively, you could constantly warn your friends about the dangers of being outside. Here’s a good anecdote to start that I’ll let you steal: I was enjoying a beer at the pub when a wasp flew into my mouth and stung the back of my throat. I had to go to hospital!
Or you could just ditch your friends and make some new ones in the winter. Simple!
Problem #4: Concerned parents
You’ve been sat playing Dark Souls for a week and mum and dad are getting worried. Are you ill? Is there something wrong with you? Why won’t you go out and play with the other children/adults?
Remind your mum and dad that gaming is a positive hobby that improves brain power and co-ordination. Don’t mention that you’ve been living off a diet of Doritos and full fat Coca-Cola.
Problem #5: Looking a bit fat and pale
It’s late August and the Doritos have taken their toll. You’re looking a bit chubby.
Meanwhile, your friends who went outside look trim and tanned. You face spending September looking like Rik Waller walking with a gang of Zac Efron look-a-likes.
And you’re still dreaming of Doritos every night | Image credit: Melissa Doroquez on Flickr
Get outside and exercise, fatty!
Just kidding, we wouldn’t make you do that. Here’s a better solution: buy a treadmill. Set it for a low pace and walk while you play. See, exercise can be fun (and expensive)!
As for your pasty skin, buy some fake tan. To make the ruse more realistic, make sure you get seen outside at least once and tell everyone you tan really easily.
Oh, and if you do decide to spend your summer outside, why not sell your games with musicMagpie for ice cream money?!