Oasis

The Surprisingly Easy Guide to Reuniting the World’s Greatest Bands

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterGoogle+

The Libertines reunited to play Hyde Park over the weekend and it was a bit of a miracle they even made it to the stage. Frontmen Pete Doherty and Carl Barat have a famously troubled friendship, with Doherty once even robbing Barat’s house.

Still, it turns out that old wounds can be healed – especially if there’s a £1 million pay day at stake. That got us thinking: what would it take to get some of other favourite bands to reunite?


Oasis

Why did they split up?

Because Liam and Noel Gallagher still hate each other, despite both being over 40 years old and selling CDs by the bucketload together. Their love/hate relationship became a full-on hate/hate relationship before a 2009 gig in Germany.

Why won’t they reform?

The Gallagher brothers are famously stubborn and neither will want to be the first to say sorry. They’ve also done pretty well for themselves after the split: Liam has Beady Eye, while Noel has a successful solo career.

What would make them reform?

Not money, because they’re both stinking rich. A stern telling off and a clip round the ear for them both from Mrs. Gallagher should do the trick.


The Smiths

Why did they split up?

No-one really knows. Johnny Marr wanted to write music outside of The Smiths, but that was about it – everything seemed to be going swimmingly. Even Morrissey was happy.

Why won’t they reform?

The answer to this is much clearer: they all hate each other. After the break-up, bassist Andy Rourke and drummer Mike Joyce took Morrissey and Marr to court to claim more royalties so that’s a definite no from 2 members of the band already.

Some would say that just Morrissey and Marr would be good enough, but even that seems impossible. Morrissey has publicly said he’d rather eat his own privates than reform The Smiths, a threat he thankfully didn’t follow through on when the band were offered the chance to reform at Coachella. He did turn down a cool $5 million though.

What would make them reform?

If everyone in the world became vegetarians for a year, it might make Morrissey happy enough to talk things through with Johnny Marr. Then, they can meet the others and laugh off that court malarkey over some hummus. Sorted!


Guns N Roses

Why did they split up?

Technically they didn’t; Guns N Roses are still going, but Axl Rose is the only original member. Steven Adler, Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagen and Slash all left long ago.

Why won’t they reform?

Two words: Axl Rose. He’s notoriously difficult to get along with and has more or less fallen out with every member of the band. His relationship with Slash, arguably the other most important member of the band, is non-existent.

Yet there are some glimmers of hope. Duff recently performed with Axl at a GNR concert, while Axl’s former manager has predicted the band will be back together in 2 years.

What would make them reform?

Axl is banned from opening his mouth unless he’s singing. In exchange, everyone tells Axl how brilliant he is every time they see him.


Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff

Why did they split up?

Will Smith became a Hollywood superstar. Jazz sustained massive injuries from being thrown out of a mansion by Uncle Phil constantly (probably).

Why won’t they reform?

Well, they’re still good friends and they actually had a brief reunion on The Graham Norton Show last year. The only barrier to a full time reunion is Will’s schedule, which is packed with big money movies.

What would make them reform?

Hollywood refuses to cast Will Smith in any movies unless he performs at least once a year with Jazzy Jeff.


What bands would you like to see reform, and how would you reform them? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.