The 5 stages of playing any online game
The days of playing a game by yourself are dead. Thanks to the internet, gamers across the globe are regularly facing off against each other, setting off a chain of uncontrollable and inevitable reactions.
We’ve documented the whole harrowing experience below. Whether you’re a FIFA addict or a dedicated Call of Duty player, see if you can relate – and find out what you can do about it.
Hooray, you’ve got a new game. And oh boy, it’s got a vibrant online community too! You really can’t wait to get online and start enjoying your new game with some new buddies.
After a few wobbly games, success! You win a game, or you slay a boss, or you just get loads and loads of magical coins that’ll buy you a new gun/sword/player. Life is peachy. Let everyone you love know you’re never leaving the house again; you’ve found a blissful place where happiness never ends!
Oh, that’s annoying. Someone just killed you by sitting in a dark corner (replace with someone scored a chip goal with a pacey striker/a high level player killed you for laughs/you lost all your equipment as appropriate). Oh, and they’ve done it again. And again. And again. Hmm…
ARGH! *&%”!!! SHAUHGUAAAH!!! ARGH!
What’s the point? You’ll never amount to anything. You hate games and vow to do something more constructive with your time, like building stuff out of wood or watching that series everyone’s been talking about. You might have a little cry too.
Repeat until the end of the time or until you sell the game to musicMagpie in a fit of rage and move onto the next infuriating online experience.